Shades Of Grey

tongue_pierced

im transferring to multiply. hehehehe

katchinajessele.multiply.com

see you there!!!

tongue_pierced

Am just...just. I'm sick of playing his games. I'm just sick of being the FuBu. What is this really? Not even a pseudo-relationship! The thig is, I just can't say no. Know what I mean? There's something to it...I just can't quite put a finger on it. Grrr..

Maybe going to the boondocks will help. SOme fresh air would do the trick, ayt? Coz alcohol is definitely out of  the way. No more booze. Well, except on extremely difficult days (like on November 6 when I get back to school and see my sem grades. ugh.

Anyway, gotta jet. Till next. Ciao! 

tongue_pierced

Yeah.

I created a new Friendster account. I was like a little pressured. My friends say they missed me there. Missed my blogs. Missed everything about my account. But am I really ready for it?

I dunno...I just wanted to show HIM that I've moved on. Even raving about this "new guy" in my life. There are guys, yes. But they're more like "past-time" guys. Nothing serious. I still am not sure about my situation right now. My Angel, my heart...I dunno...

I met this one guy. I kinda really like him. But I pushed him away for fear of getting hurt. And I didn't want to drag him into my messy life coz he seemed genuinely interested in me. I am actually missing him right now...

Maybe our paths will cross again someday. And maybe I'm ready by then... 

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Just wanted to show off.

Hahaha! I love my profession! I will do anything to get that MD! I'm almost there!

I have a lot to read for Gen Path tomorrow. And I'm still here blogging...Hmmm... 

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Hospital rounds with the consultant.

It was fun, really. We sorta had a conference, listened to thrills and bruits, checked vital signs...It felt real. Like I was one of them. These are the moments that really get to me. I WANT THAT MD!

Actually, I know what I want. I'm just too scared or maybe too pre-occupied to actually do it.

Things are pretty much the same. My friends tell me that it's just withdrawal symptoms, coz I stopped smoking ABRUPTLY. Thus explains the nausea and vomitting. It's not what I think it is. Right?!

I'm way too scared. Can I do this on my own? I hope so. For everybody's sake. This is waaaaay too scary.

Today is Chiqi and Marian's birthday. They surprised Chiqi with baloons and all the works. I went out to dinner with MArian and some classmates and her dorm mates. I ate a lot. Hmmmm...

I had a secret cigarette stick with Marian. Nyahahahaha!!! I know. I shouldn't be doing this. At least it's not alcohol. I've been alcohol-free for days now. Hmmmm... I had my last drink with Marian and Tess last Friday. I swore that was the last. But there's still that chance of this being a mistake and everything else so I'll just cross my fingers.

Still nothing from HWMNBN. To my surprise, it really didn't matter. I have my friends. I have my family,. i have my little angel. So nothing to worry about, ayt? Ayt?! 

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Ok.

I'm okay. Everything's gonna be okay.

This is all a dream. Tomorrow I'll wake up and this is over.

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I am bored.

No gimik.

No booze.

No yosi.

I'm just too bored.

I haven't even taken a bath yet! My life is going nowhere. Oh, wait. it IS going somewhere. Somewhere it shouldn't be. Yeah. Right.

Can somebody come take me home??? It's a damn cold night, trying to figure out this life...Heehee...Avril's words.

Arrrrgghhh!!! Please, please, please!!!

Somebody save me!!! I am scared!!!